Growing Up Queer in a Straight Market

Art by Paul Windle

Art by Paul Windle

It’s easy (and popular) to claim the media has no effect on who we are.  To claim we’re sophisticated enough to rise above influence and separate the truth from the hype.  But the truth is, whether we’re born trans or cis; gay, straight or bi; the world has a lot to say about gender and most of those messages either start with or are reflected by the media.

Don’t even get me started on “gender reveal” parties.

Don’t even get me started on “gender reveal” parties.

Before we’re even born, parents-to-be are asked, “Is it a boy or a girl?”  This seems like an innocent enough question, although the accurate answer would be, “Neither, it hasn’t told us yet.  But it’s physically male/female.”  But of course, that would not be a socially acceptable answer.  You must answer “boy” or “girl” or “we don’t know” and shut up about the difference between gender and sex.  Nurseries, toys, clothes and the babies themselves are already divided down the gender binary before they can even open their eyes properly.  And the media encourages this by dividing catalogs and nursery planning books along stereotypical gender lines.  The most popular “themes” on the Babies R Us website includes sports, racing, Winnie the Pooh, jungle and space for boys and pink, Disney, pink, princesses, and, what do you know, more pink for girls.  What a surprise!

Of course infants won’t be influenced by things they have no way of remembering later in life.  Case in point, I have no idea what my nursery looked like or if I even had one (being the first child to poor college students).  But what is important is the parents treating the child differently based on sex.  Studies have shown female babies are comforted more and are handled more gently and with a softer voice than with male babies.  While male babies are allowed to cry longer in order to “toughen them up”.  These differences are both accidental and actually encouraged by some parenting books that play on parents’ fears of raising a queer.  Perhaps this is the foundation for so many girls and later women being unable to make themselves heard or allow themselves to occupy space.  It could also be seen as the first instance of a boy being told to “suck it up and walk it off” and deny his emotions.

Azúcar, amigos!

Azúcar, amigos!

Let’s move on to childhood.  Kids can walk, talk and even think for themselves to some degree.  This is perhaps their most vulnerable time to internalize harmful messages and stereotypes.  Therefore, marketers target them with a vengeance in order to seal “cradle to grave” loyalty.  Until the age of about 8 or 9, children are unable to distinguish commercials from the actual program and marketers play on this shortcoming, having cartoon characters sell fast food, candy and toys to children who can’t tell they’re being emotionally manipulated.  Because television is such a popular babysitter, many parents are not there to help their child see marketing for what it is and to point out gender stereotypes.

Children also have a lot of uncertainty in their private lives.  For this reason, they can be seen clinging to gender stereotypes presented to them.  For their early school years, children are unsure why the gender binary exists, but fear crossing over to the other side.  This fear is reinforced and preyed upon by creating exaggeratedly gender-specific toys, advertising and programming.  At the same time children naturally divide themselves by gender during this “Cootie Phase”.  Marketers tell children they need to play with trucks if they’re a boy or dolls if they’re a girl.  The urge to strongly identify with their gender is played against them and they buy it hook, line and sinker.  Now they’ve been primed to respond to gender-specific marketing on through adulthood.  Cleaning and cooking commercials will feature women and car and beer commercials will feature men, even though men and women both use these products throughout their lives.  The transition is so subtle most don’t even realize it.  Now that I’ve pointed it out, try to find a gender-neutral advertisement next time you read a magazine or watch television.  It’s harder than you’d think.

Not as uncommon as you might think.

Not as uncommon as you might think.

So how do all these messages about gender affect queer children and later queer adults?  Whether you were confused about your gender or sexuality or both as a child, nearly every queer adult can remember feeling “different”.  That’s all most queer kids know at such an early stage.  They might not be able to articulate that they’re gay or trans, but they easily know they’re “different” from what they believe the rest of the world is like.  There is no advertisement or show that reflects their personal reality, so they internalize the message that they are “weird”, “different”, or a “freak”.  They play with the toys presented to them normally when adult eyes are watching, but as soon they’re alone Barbie becomes a lesbian.  Batman and Superman have a tea party and discuss their busy lives.  A stuffed toy becomes a baby doll.  But queer kids aren’t the only ones who “queer” their toys.  All three of the examples I just gave were shared with me by straight, cis friends.

If the idea that all boys play with trucks and all girls play with dolls is a lie, why does it keep being portrayed in the media?  Because everyone has insecurities about gender and sexuality.  And where there is insecurity there is a profit to be made.  From “cradle to grave”, women are shown images of young, skinny, white, straight, feminine and (usually) blond role models.  From the Disney princess to the supermodel in magazines, this same image over and over becomes seen as “normal” because it’s all that’s presented to us.  Despite the fact that this role model reflects a very small portion of the general population, if anyone, women are told we should all aspire to be her, which is an impossible goal, otherwise we’ll never get married.  This ensures we will buy into diets, makeup, beauty treatments, clothing and cosmetic surgery until we die.

GrowingQueer5From “cradle to grave”, men are shown images of tall, muscular, white, swarthy, heroic, masculine, misogynistic, violent, tough role models who don’t show their emotions.  From GI Joe to Rambo, men are sold a very narrow image of manhood that doesn’t include any real person.  (Except maybe Hemingway, but even he did “un-manly” things like write for a living.)  Men are told if they don’t fit this stereotype then they’ll never have sex and their lives will be meaningless.  This ensures they will buy into cars, cologne, alcohol, guns and sports paraphernalia until they die.


Boys do cry.  Girls are aggressive.  Everybody ages.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  We should embrace the truths of our world and base our reality on the people in our lives rather than the ones on the screen or page.  There’s no Photoshop in the real world and there’s much more variety than skinny, big-breasted women and tall, muscular men.  And when we interact with children we should encourage them to enjoy aspects of themselves that go against the norm.  Take your daughter to the science museum.  Teach your son how to cook.  The world will be a lot better for it.


I Love Sex Toys!

I fucking love sex toys!

Toys have always played a role in my sex life. You see, ever since my ‘giney started tingling for the first times as a pre-teen, I was taught that sex was bad.

“Never let a penis near your vagina!”

“Stay pure, don’t touch that. Don’t let anyone touch that!”

Well, I figured they didn’t say anything about penis-SHAPED objects, so off I went and started my 14 year love affair with all things vibrating and penis-shaped.

Here are some of my favorites:

The Ribbed Vibrator


Oh, let me count the ways I love you!

So, that’s five ripples and seven inches, and can be used for vagina OR anal play.

That’s about 14 ways that I love this toy (and toys like it).

I like the ribbed vibrators better because it adds texture to my play-time. The sleek vibrators and dildos don’t really do it for me. With the ribbed, you get to really feel every inch go inside you. I especially like using a toy like this for anal play. For me at least, it feels more secure than anal beads, but you get roughly the same stimulation. Plus, it vibrates in your butthole. Who doesn’t want that??


Of course there’s more than one kind of “ribbed” vibrator.

Sometimes I go for the more subtle kind. I like to use this kind for mostly outer stimulation of the clitoris and labia.

Turning the vibrator on low and slowly running the bumps and texture over my clit or nipples is the best way to get me going. Hell, that can get me to climax all by itself. I suggest giving this bit of toy play a try on yourself or on your lover if you haven’t already.

Toys with jelly sleeves are good, since you can remove the sleeve at will. Then it’s like you have a whole new toy!!

Remote Control Rabbits/Bullets


The remote control is great since it makes “me time” a little easier. But, my favorite thing to do is insert it and give the control to my partner. If you’re the brave kind, you can wear it when you go grocery shopping or when you go to the park, and then your partner can pleasure you at opportune moments. I like to use it in tandem with anal play sometimes. Insert the bullet, and hand the remote to my partner, then turn over and let them play with my ass. Every once in a while, I’ll feel the bullet start to vibrate. Not knowing when it’s going to happen creates a fun sort of tension. Like the kind of anxiety you look forward too. Also, this way it’s easier to stimulate more than one part of the body. Remember, this little buddy can also go in your ass (make sure the string with the second bullet remains outside the body, so there are no embarrassing trips to the emergency room). I’ve most often used this with male partners, but I did have a fun adventure with a girlfriend of mine once. She put it inside me, then I ate her out while she controlled the bullet. Then we swapped. Honestly one of the most fun nights ever.

Don’t forget that this model has TWO bullets. One is a little sleeker than the other, but the string should be long enough to insert it and use the second bullet to stimulate your outer regions.

Really, the scenarios and uses for this little guy are seemingly endless. It can be combined with practically any other toys and sex acts to add surprises into your play time.

Three-pronged Vibrators


So maybe you’re sensing a pattern here with my sex play. I like to multitask. But seriously, this one has a slightly curved head so it reaches the g-spot. One prong for clitoral stimulation, and a third prong to massage, or be inserted into, the asshole. Not to mention, this particular model also comes with a bullet. The bullet is great for multitasking with a partner, but if you ever need that multiple stimulation by yourself, this is where you get it.

I would suggest also getting one that’s waterproof. Shower, tub and pool play is sexy. I used a similar toy at a friend’s house in their hot tub. The combination of double penetration, vibrating and the pulsating jets gave me amazing orgasms. I highly recommend a toy like this for personal and partner play.

Strapless Strap-on


Dori already wrote a piece describing the strapless strap-on here. Really, I can’t believe in all my lady-loving-lady years, that I only just last week used this for the first time. I’d never even used a strap-on before, let alone a strapless strap-on.
I’ve fucked girls before. With my mouth, with my fingers, with my tongue, with dildos, with vibrators, with my own vagina via scissoring and humping. But I’ve never fucked a girl with an extension so like a penis. Scratch that, I’ve never fucked a girl in a way that makes me feel like I actually have a penis. Damn. I think I have penis envy now.

Not only did I get to thrust inside her and give her the kind of pleasure she wanted, but the Feeldoe bulb was perfectly situated to stimulate my own g-spot. I got to look down and see “me” sliding inside her, while rocking myself back and forth on a vibrating bulb. I don’t know what it’s like to fuck a girl with an actual penis, but I’m pretty sure this is close to it. Knowing that I could thrust my hips and give the same kind of pleasure to her that I get from my own fiance was about the hottest experience I’ve ever had.

This is a very short list of the toys I like to play with, but I’m thinking it’s a start for anybody who doesn’t play with toys who might want to start. I haven’t even gotten into nipple clamps, penis sleeves, cock rings, floggers and other such wildness. So, go, start having fun with yourself (and others). But don’t forget! Be safe. Use lube and condoms!

I Love Oral Sex!


I’d like to dedicate this post to Bill Clinton.  No, seriously.  I know a lot of people give him a hard time because he lied about getting a blowjob, but if I was asked intimate details of my sex life in the national spotlight, I’m pretty sure I would lie too.  Or tell them to fuck off.  Besides, it was nobody’s fucking business besides his, Monica’s and Hillary’s.  For all we know, everyone involved was perfectly fine until the shit hit the fan.  I have no problem with my fiancé getting a blowjob from another woman if he’s upfront about it, and he has no problem with me eating my FWB‘s pussy.  Our relationship is about much more than sex and we trust each other. Thankfully, we’re not politicians.

For all the fat jokes and slut-shaming the media made at Monica’s expense, I think the “Lewinsky Scandal” was ultimately a good thing.  If nothing else because it brought the topic of oral sex into the public mainstream.  It made us talk about oral sex, it made us talk about marital fidelity, and it made us question whether oral sex was “real” sex.  (The answer?  It is.)  I was 12-years-old at the time and it lead to a discussion between my mom and I about oral sex.  I honestly think if it weren’t for Clinton getting a hummer, we wouldn’t be talking about BJs and Rug Munching so casually as we do now.

That being said, I’d like to bring us back to the topic at hand.  Or at mouth, as the case may be.  I love oral sex.  I’m not one to brag, but I’m told I’m amazing at sucking dick and eating pussy.  At the moment I have one less orifice than most women, so I make the most out of the two I have.  This means oral, anal, and manual sex are my means of getting me and my partners off.  I’m pretty anxious to have my surgery, primarily so I can have a clitoris, be comfortable naked, and get my legal paperwork in order.  But I’m happy with my life and I use whatever body parts I am comfortable with without shame.  That being said, I know many people think the sex I enjoy with my partners isn’t “real” because none of  it involves a penis penetrating a vagina.

I feel sad for these people, because they must have a very boring and repetitive sex life.  Let’s face it, you don’t always have time in your busy life for epic-romantic-candles-and-silk-sheets-penetrative-sex.  For one, it can take a lot of foreplay and prep work for penetrative sex to be enjoyable for both parties, and that takes time we don’t always have.  For another, while it can be amazing it can also be physically exhausting, and sometimes painful, especially when you’re the one being penetrated.  So when you don’t have the time or ability to have penetrative sex, oral sex can be just as good if not better.  I’m not always physically capable of having anal sex, but I’m always willing to give my fiancé a blow job.  Sometimes it’s foreplay, sometimes it’s the main event, and sometimes I just surprise him with one while he’s relaxing.  And while giving a BJ doesn’t give me an orgasm, I still find it incredibly sexy to know how much pleasure I have the power to give him.  I love to feel him twitch and grow in my mouth as the rest of his body relaxes.  He loves to stare at my ass while I’m bent over his crotch, slapping my cheeks while I bring him to climax.  Yes, I may not have an orgasm but I have a lot of fun giving him one.  There seems to be a myth out there that all women hate giving blow jobs and we only do it for manipulative purposes or for special occasions or extravagant gifts.  I resent being lumped into that category by society.  While I’m sure those women exist, I’m not one of them and I know I’m not alone.

Speaking of societal myths, I really resent the “pussy smells like fish” trope.  Honestly, if the pussy you’re about to enjoy smells like tuna, then there is a hygiene problem that needs to be addressed.  This myth is so pervasive that plenty of women are too self-conscious about their body to ever relax and enjoy receiving oral sex.  Considering that most women can’t get an orgasm from PIV sex alone, this is an absolute shame.  So can we just put an end to this nonsense?  I personally love the way pussy smells and it doesn’t matter if my FWB has just gotten out of the shower or been sweating in the sun all day.  I love to grab her hips as she grinds her crotch into my face, I love to hear her moan as I work my tongue over her clit, I love burying my face inside her like it’s my last meal, and I love kissing her after so she can get a taste.  Eating pussy is just fucking awesome!  It’s the first sex act I ever performed at the age of 17 and it’s still one of my favorites.  I know there are people out there who don’t like it, and I guess that makes sense if you’re a gay man or a straight woman, but for everyone else I can’t even begin to understand why it doesn’t get them all kinds of hot and bothered like it does me.  Everyone’s allowed to have their own personal preferences and all that, but just writing about eating pussy is putting me in the mood.

I love sex.  It makes me feel close to my partners, it makes me feel attractive and powerful, and it releases all kinds of lovely hormones and chemicals that our brain just can’t get enough of.  And that holds true for all kinds of sex, including oral.  Oral sex is real sex and it is real amazing sex at that.  So let the record show that I am a cocksucker and a rug muncher and I am unashamed!


Bro, Do You Even Empathy?

“Entertainment by and about women is for women. Entertainment by and about men is for everybody.” –random commenter on this article

Oh god so much this!

While discussing sci-fi/fantasy/nerdy shows with my brother-in-law and my brother, I mentioned wanting to re-watch Buffy again. The only reason I ever watched that show (or got to) when it aired was because my brother loved it, and we would watch it together (with my sister sometimes). I really enjoy those memories. He would later chase us around the house, and say he was a vampire.

Ah, good times.

Anyways, after mentioning it, my brother-in-law casually said,”Oh, I never got into Buffy. It always seemed like such a girl show.”

Yeah, sooo girly

Yeah, sooo girly

I was like wtf dude. Buffy is awesome. Yeah, it’s kinda cheesy at times, but that’s part of what makes it great. And no, cheesy does not equal “girly.”

My brother tried to give him what-for, but in the worst way possible. He said, ”Oh no, it’s not a girly show. It’s super fantastic!”


If you have to contrast “girly” with “cool,” then you’re doing it wrong, but I give him points for trying anyway.

I just get so pissed when, as a nerdy girl, all the nerd-dudes expect me to love AAAAALLLL of these shows with male protagonists that are obviously catered toward a male audience, but they are never expected to like a show that has a girl as the main protagonist, even one that often catered to the male audience:

Remember Vampire Willow?

Remember Vampire Willow?

If I even mention said show/game/book/whatever, even though many of them might like it, there’s always some dude who’s like “yeah, but that’s a girl’s show.” As if that settles the issue and he shouldn’t be expected to even *try* to like it. I mean, I’m like aaaarrrgh!

It basically boils down to “my race* and gender combo are the norm, so it’s for everybody! But your race and/or gender is not the norm, so if something shows your race/gender prominently, then it’s to be assumed that it’s made only for your race/gender to enjoy.”

They’re not related in real life, so it’s not weird that I like both of them, right?

They’re not related in real life, so it’s not weird that I like both of them, right?

Yes, I do love the shows with male protagonists. I freaking love Adama (bof’em), Jean-luc Picard, Angel and The Doctor and on and on the list goes. I’m not saying I can’t like a show with a male protagonist. I’m saying that I love shows with male protags (and video games btw) and it’s not a huge giant deal. I don’t agonize over the fact that I am able to identify with somebody whose genitals are different from mine. And yet, it seems that once a girl is the most important person in the show, dudes are expected to tune out. If they don’t tune out, it’s seen as such an amazing thing that this*sharp intake of breath* girl is so relatable to men. Wtf! That. should. be. normal.

I’m like “bro, do you even empathy?”

And the thing is, the question shouldn’t be “why aren’t these female characters relatable to men**?” The question should be “Why aren’t men able to relate to any character outside of their own race/gender?” Is there some cultural/social training here whereby men are taught to not have empathy? Is it really so bad to have to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes for just 30 minutes in order to enjoy a cool TV show??


And that’s just it. Why are you watching fantasy/sci-fi if you can’t fathom being placed in somebody else’s world? That’s like the WHOLE POINT of fantasy/sci-fi. Sure, one could watch/read/play these genres and try to imagine themselves in that role, and maybe if that role is filled by somebody outside your personal identity, then it might make it harder to do that. But really, why would you be upset that the main protagonist isn’t the same as you? How many sci-fi books are about completely alien worlds filled with alien species that are completely imaginary and yet they’re fucking awesome to imagine yourself in? How many of them have the main protagonist as a white dude, and yet that white dude (who may or may not match the target demographic’s race/gender) is in such a setting that his whiteness and dudeness should not matter to the story? If the setting of the story is changed so much that the protagonist’s race and gender wouldn’t make a difference in the story, then why does it make a difference to you? If the protagonist may as well have green skin and be genderless for all the difference it makes in the world in which that character lives, then it shouldn’t make any difference to how you identify with him/her!

So guys who don’t like watching female protagonists, I just want you to stop and ask yourself: why aren’t I able to identify with this character? Not, is there something wrong with this character…but perhaps, is there something wrong with my ability to empathize? Because I identify with TONS of characters that look and feel nothing like me. Hell, I’m expected to do this. I honestly don’t understand how one can enjoy sci-fi/fantasy if they are not able to identify with people who are, even slightly, different from oneself.

*yes, this same thing goes for race as well as gender. You know what? It also works for different sexual orientations and religions.

**some, in this entire essay, I am only talking to *some* men.

8 Ways to De-Stress After America Shits All Over Everyone

If you’re like me, you’re probably just the slightest bit upset over the recent shenanigans going on in this country.  Between racism being a valid defenseThe Patriarchy reigning supreme over women’s bodies, and the typical non-necessarily-related-to-oppression-but-not-unrelated-either stress that we experience everyday, you might be ready to snap.  Well, I understand how you feel, but just to keep us all in freedom fighting shape, I thought I’d share some ways to relieve some of the tension you might be feeling.  After all, the feminist who takes care of herself (or himself) lives to fight bullshit another day.

1.  Exercise

I just finished a long run in the rain and it was exactly what I needed to clear my head.  If I get tired, I just picture the necks of Republicans under my heels and pick up the pace.  An even better way to unwind is kickboxing, because then you can picture your oppressors faces as you pummel the living shit out of a punching bag.

Feel the burn…of oppression!

Feel the burn…of oppression!

2.  Sex

The intimacy and passion of rolling around with my fiance can remind me that some men aren’t androcentric pieces of shit who want to control women’s sexuality.  And if I need more convincing that the world isn’t all bad, then I eat out my not-girlfriend or jill off like my life depends on it.

When you’re having angry sex, channel your inner Xena.

When you’re having angry sex, channel your inner Xena.

3. Drink

Or smoke weed.  I’m not here to judge.  While this might not be the healthiest means of dealing with stress, it’s still better than homicide.  Maybe you can turn it into a drinking game: every time you look at the news and feel like dying a little, take a shot.

You better give me a shot glass if you know what’s good for you.

You better give me a shot glass if you know what’s good for you.

4.  Eat

It’s hard to pick up your life and leave the country, but through the names of foods you can feel like you’re living in a sane country.  Would you like some French Fries, Belgian Waffles, Italian Ice, GermanChocolate, Greek Yogurt, English Muffins, Swedish Meatballs, or Canadian Bacon?  Mmm…I can taste the civil discourse from here.

Note to self: Do not piss off a hungry Betty White.

Note to self: Do not piss off a hungry Betty White.

5.  Watch

Sometimes I like to watch an old movie to take my mind off of things.  However, I would suggest avoiding movies like Mr. Smith Goes to Washington or 12 Angry Men because they might remind you how democracy and the justice system are supposed to work, only throwing you into another fit of justified rage.

The Zimmerman jury said WHAT?!

The Zimmerman jury said WHAT?!

6.  Play

We all enjoy different styles of video games, but for this task I recommend the most violent game in your library.  Maybe Assassin’s Creed or Borderlands.  Something with lots of killing.  And explosions aren’t half bad either.  There’s actually evidence that suggests “venting” you anger actually only encourages violent behavior, but science isn’t important right now.  Just shoot as many digital representations of your anger as you can.

Maybe multiplayer wasn’t the best idea…

Maybe multiplayer wasn’t the best idea…

7.  Demonstrate

If you just can’t calm down, it’s time to bust out the picket signs and march down to a government building.  Gather as many people as you can (don’t forget to see what paperwork you need for your area) and make your voices heard.  But please, don’t loot anything or light any cars on fire.  That just makes us all look bad.

Careful guys, those women look “unruly”.

Careful guys, those women look “unruly”.

8.  Vote

With the abolishment of the Voting Rights Act, voting can be yet another source of stress and anger.  But it’s the one activity that people in power should fear most.  Register early, keep the League of Women Voter’s on speed-dial for any fraudulent activity, and kick these fuckers to the curb.

If a politician is a legitimate asshole, women voters have a way of shutting that whole thing down.

If a politician is a legitimate asshole, women voters have a way of shutting that whole thing down.

Cooch Cannons

Is the Texas legislator always confiscating your tampons while you’re “falling for the communists?” Do you need some advice for how to hold onto your *ahem* products?

1. Nerf Guns

Riding the cotton pony ain’t easy if all your replacements are taken, so bring a nerf gun and load your tampons into that. If you have a child with you, make sure s/he is carrying it so the guards won’t get too suspicious.

I think we all know how to load one of these

I think we all know how to load one of these

2. Marshmallow Shooter

Make a Marshmallow Shooter out of PVC pipe and shove the tampons in there. Again, make sure you have a bag of marshmallows in your bag as a diversion to keep them from looking in the gun. If they ask what it is, just point to the marshmallows. It also helps to offer marshmallows to the guards. I hear guards love marshmallow bribes. Plus I hear marshmallows are a good thing to snack on when you’re dealing with a dishonourable discharge from the Uterine Navy.

Front-loaded…always remember it’s front-loaded

Front-loaded…always remember it’s front-loaded

3. Actual Gun

In Texas, those with a CHL are allowed to carry concealed loaded guns into the Capitol Building. So ladies with a CHL, just load your tampons into the gun. Since the legislators are perfectly ok allowing angry women with guns into the capital (and not angry women playing banjo in Sgt. Zygote’s Ragtime Band? Although that might actually be scarier), you won’t be questioned about the gun, and you get to skip all those pesky long lines at the entrance!

Feminine artillery: now more dangerous than actual bullets!

Feminine artillery: now more dangerous than actual bullets!

4. Tampon Vest

You can always simply use duct tape to strap the tampons directly to your body. You could call it “The Tambomb Vest.” This way, if you really actually need to lob tampons at passing legislators, you can just rip one off real quick and nobody’s the wiser.

Slightly more advanced than duct tape, but you get the picture

Slightly more advanced than duct tape, but you get the picture.

5. Tampon Ghosts

We already know that Republicans are terrified of tampons, so what would be more terrifying than the ghost of tampon??

Step one: Take the tampon out of the applicator.

Step two: Apply googly eyes to the top of the tampon (just under the string).

Step three: The guards are so scared of the tampon ghosts coming back to haunt them that they wave you through the line with no issues.



6. Loaded Cooch Cannon


If all else fails, you could simply load up before having your purse searched. This especially works if you’re actually riding the crimson wave, because you can follow these simple steps when you need to change out the tampon: 1) go to the bathroom and take it out like normal, 2) wrap it in some toilet paper, 3) since your replacements were confiscated, simply walk back to the guards and present your bloodied one for a fresh one, 4) tell them you’ll need at least two cuz it’s like a crime scene down there, 5) don’t worry about a body cavity search at this point.

Just remember these steps the next time Republicans get scared of PMS Girl lobbing tampons at them from her cooch cannon, and you’ll have a fun, full day!

JGR: Bad Catholic’s Bad Reasons for Opposing Porn

Marc Barnes over at Bad Catholic thinks there are [good] secular reasons to oppose pornography. Let’s watch, shall we?

1. Sex Trafficking

The word pornography comes from pornos, prostitute, and grapho, to depict or write, meaning “depicting prostitutes.” We seem to be waking up to the possibility that the word’s etymology may very well be a description of reality. Pornography is fundamentally an experience of bought sex.

Safe for work porn

Safe for work porn

Arguments from etymology are always fun. They assume that 1) the meaning of words haven’t changed, and 2) in this case, it assumes that the meaning shows some sort of clear admonishment against pornography. You seem to think your audience should just assume that “bought sex” is bad.

In the purchase of pornography, we pay for sexual arousal. We do not simply pay money for a video— though it is precisely this idea that allows us to remove ourselves from the possibility that we are engaging in sex trafficking — we also pay for the incidence of sexual use that the video depicts.

Yes, I think everybody knows that we’re paying for sexual arousal. Again, you seem to be assuming that this is somehow bad, or that people who buy porn don’t know that this is what they are doing. When I buy a vibrator, I’m also “buying sex.” Is this also wrong? And then you equate pornography to sex trafficking right out of the gate. Not all prostitution or porn can be accurately labeled “sex trafficking.” Those who willingly become a sex worker are not being “trafficked for sex” anymore than a construction worker can be labeled “slave labor.”

The money spent on pornography does not disappear, it goes to pornographers, thus supplying and encouraging those who’s [sic]  job it is to get men and women to have sex for money, that is, to prostitute themselves. In this regard, there is very little difference between the pornographer and the pimp. He arranges the experience of sexual gratification for a client by paying a woman the client doesn’t know to have sex.

Actually in the United States there is a bit of a difference between the directors and producers of pornography and pimps. Making and selling pornography is legal and regulated in the United States. If a porn star is ripped off by a producer or abused, s/he has the legal ability to take the producers to court and demand justice. I’m not saying the system is perfect, or that the regulations are always obeyed, but at least there is some protection. I’m not arguing that pornography isn’t prostitution. I agree with you that it is. However, I disagree with your assertions that prostitution is always wrong. The pimp in the United States is different in that his/her business is illegal. S/he can abuse his/her workers all they want and mostly get away with it. The workers have no legal recourse. Making porn illegal or pushing sex workers even more into the dark is not the way to fix the many problems that the mainstream industry has. Pushing sex work into the dark merely intensifies abuse and makes impossible any attempts at legal redress for such abuse.

She doesn’t mention the objectification of these men

She doesn’t mention the objectification of these men

The American feminist Catherine MacKinnon, in a 2005 speech, made some very indicting claims regarding the relationship between pornography and sex trafficking:

Pornography then further creates demand for prostitution, hence for trafficking, through its consumption.Consuming pornography is an experience of bought sex, of sexually using a woman or a girl or a boy as an object who has been purchased. As such, it stimulates demand for buying women and girls and boys as sexual objects in the flesh in the same way it stimulates the viewer to act out on other live women and girls and boys the specific acts that are sexualized and consumed in the pornography. Social science evidence, converging with testimonial evidence of real people, has long shown the latter. As observed…in the hearings on the anti-pornography civil rights ordinance that Andrea Dworkin and I organized for the Minneapolis City Council at its request: “Men witness the abuse of women in pornography constantly, and if they can’t engage in that behavior with their wives, girlfriends, or children, they force a whore to do it.” On the basis of the experiences of a group of women survivors of prostitution and pornography, she told how pornography was used to train and season young girls in prostitution and how men would bring photographs of women in pornography being abused, say, in effect, “I want you to do this,” and demand that the acts being inflicted on the women in the materials be specifically duplicated. Research by Mimi Silbert and Ayala Pines on prostituted women in San Francisco also reported that the women spontaneously mentioned being raped by johns [those who purchase prostitutes] who said, essentially, “I [have] seen it in all the movies … . You know you love it,” referring to a specific pornography “flick.” Melissa Farley and her colleagues found that forty-seven percent of prostituted women in nine countries were upset by someone asking them to perform a sex act that had been seen in pornography. Forty-nine percent reported that pornography was made of them in prostitution. Mary Sullivan’s research in Victoria, Australia, where prostitution has been legalized for a decade, reports women describing pornography videos running constantly in brothels – to set the tone and mood, apparently – making safe sex more difficult. Pornography is documented to create demand for specific acts, including dangerous and demeaning ones inflicted on prostituted people, as well as for bought sex in general. If this is right – and Melissa Farley’s preliminary results show that it is – the more men use pornography, the more they use prostitutes.

Mackinnon here is ignoring the very real category of  ”gay male” porn. Why is she only mentioning the objectification of women, boys and girls and not worried about the objectification of these young gay men? This is the problem I have with the whole philosophy behind objectification. Anybody can objectify anybody else. Sometimes it can be harmful and sometimes it’s not. When I’m told to “take a number” at a bakery and made to sit there until they call my number, I am being objectified. I’m being reduced to a number and an cake order. This objectification does not harm me or anybody else. Mackinnon’s second wave feminist fixation on objectification is missing the point entirely behind the idea. It is not always wrong or harmful to objectify somebody. Not only this, but she is herself denying the agency of the women who want to be sex workers. There are some women who really love the job and wouldn’t want to do anything else. I’m also a little appalled that she would lump women in with boys and girls. Children do not have the mental or psychological ability to consent to sexual acts of this nature. By lumping women in with children, she is essentially equating female sex workers with children.

She then goes on to say that “the more men use pornography, the more they use prostitutes.” No. Just no. There are millions of men (and women) who watch porn and don’t ever hire or use a prostitute or engage the employment of any other kind of sex worker. The statistics Mackinnon cites seem to be only of men who are already hiring prostitutes. Does she have any statistics for the average porn consumer? The sampling here seems to be inherently biased toward men who are already inclined to abuse sex workers.

Back to Marc:

In shortening the word “pornography” to “porn,” or “porno,” we are performing etymologically what arguably occurs in reality — moving from “depicting prostitutes” to an engagement with just “prostitutes.” In essence, pornography is associated with prostitution because pornography — insofar as it is the purchase of a person for sexual gratification — is already is a form of prostitution.

Other than some American politicians, I don’t know who Marc thinks is arguing that porn isn’t a form of prostitution.

Christmas with sex workers looks pretty awesome to me

Christmas with sex workers looks pretty awesome to me

In watching pornography, we cannot pretend that the consequences of our actions are limited to us and our browsing history, for we are supporting an industry, creating a demand for the exploitation of human beings, creating jobs for pornographers, and thereby creating incidences of sexual use.

You say all this, and yet you fail to actually talk about where the problem lies. You also don’t seem to be able to distinguish the main stream porn industry from the indie/amateur/feminist/lgbtq industry.

Hey Marc, here’s some non-coerciveconsensual porn.

(And to be absolutely clear, there is no such thing as free porn. If you are not directly giving money to a pornographer, you are giving it to him through an advertiser.)

As somebody who has (as Dori puts it) sailed the seven seas of the internet for quite some time, yes, there is such a thing as free porn.

But surely — I imagine a complaint could go — this is only a problem if you take as an a priori the idea that porn is abusive and bad. Then yes, it is bad to watch pornography and thereby fund an industry that sells sexual acts for gratification. But what if you take the enlightened, modern view that the only morally limiting factor of a sexual act is that it be between “consenting adults”? Pornography, after all, is consensual. Women and men perform sexual acts for pornographers out of their own free will, flaunting their lifestyle, calling themselves “pornstars.” Why then, is it any evil to fund an industry which people join by choice?

2. The Illusion of Consent

For all the ladies loving ladies out there

For all the ladies loving ladies out there

From the point of view of the person watching pornography, there is no way to establish that any of its members are consenting to the act reproduced. How could you possibly know? From the point of view of the person watching pornography, there is likewise no way to know that it’s members are all legal adults. Could you with certainty distinguish a 16-year-old girl, the trafficking of whom is an incidence of child pornography, condemned by the law and by society, with an 18-year-old, the trafficking of whom is supposedly harmless, consensual, and absolutely legal? Given that there is no way we can affirm that the already inadequate moral minimum of “consenting adults” is being adhered to, we should shake from ourselves any semblance of confidence in the “consensual” nature of pornography.

Your assertion that there is no way to tell if these are all consenting adults could also be used for any other film. There is no way to know if the stunt man performing dangerous acts on the movie screen actually consented. Maybe he was coerced due to monetary or drug-related reasons? Maybe he was forced to do it by the producers? You don’t know. You should shake from yourself any semblance of confidence in the “consensual” nature of action movies.

MacKinnon notes that: ‘as with all prostitution, the women and children in pornography are, in the main, not there by choice but because of a lack of choices. They usually “consent” to the acts only in the degraded and demented sense of the word (common also to the law of rape) in which a person who despairs at stopping what is happening, sees no escape, has no real alternative, was often sexually abused before as a child, may be addicted to drugs, is homeless, hopeless, is often trying to avoid being beaten or killed, is almost always economically desperate, acquiesces in being sexually abused for payment, even if, in most instances, it is payment to someone else.’

Again, you quote MacKinnon equating women to children and ignoring the agency of women who do choose to be sex workers. She is basically saying that one cannot, by definition, choose to be a sex worker. Again, some of those women beg to differ.

This is not consent. Furthermore, even if there is some semblance of consent in regards to an initial entrance into the pornography, it is not informed consent. Truly informed consent would allow a woman to consent not only to a life of having pornography made of her, but to the content of that life. Two ex-porn-actors Shelley Lubben and Jenni Case bravely detailed the fact that should probably seem obvious — women are lied to about the content of their lives as porn actors. They are told that they will be given attention, safety, glamour and money. In reality, they are made to work in filthy conditions, they are constantly exposed to disease, they are pressured into sexual acts that they do not want to perform, and the vast majority of “pornstars” must resort to drugs and alcohol to numb both the physical and emotional pain of their ‘work.’

Many movie stars and rock stars are also lied to about the content of their lives as movie and rock stars. In fact there are many instances of movie stars and rock stars resorting to alcohol and drugs in order to cope with the physical and emotional pain of their work. Think: Curt Cobain, Janet Jackson, Amy Winehouse. Those are but a few who struggled with mental illness and drug/alcohol abuse and lost. The answer is not to eschew in and all movies and music. The answer is not to force movie stars and rock stars into the dark world of illegal movies and music. The answer is to find out why they have these problems. Create better alternatives for those with mental illnesses. Show more compassion for those who struggle and create better support networks and facilities for treatment. I say the same thing goes for sex workers. The answer to helping sex workers who struggle economically, or who struggle with drug/alcohol abuse, who struggle with mental illness is not to make their work illegal or stigmatize it more with articles such as yours. The answer is to find out what the problems are. Root out those problems. Bring them into the light. Stigmatizing their work by equating it with sexual slavery and child abuse merely serves to stigmatize their work, and consequently push their problems into the dark.

Sex workers forced to work in filthy conditions? Make their jobs regulated by OSHA, the same way all other jobs are. Exposed to disease? Same thing. Create an industry that cares for their workers. Create a climate where the workers are not stigmatized and afraid to speak up. Legalize sex work and create avenues for redress of grievances. Sure, this won’t eliminate all abuse. But hell, every employer/employee relationship is fraught with potential for abuse.

A 2012 thesis paper by Chelsea Thompson looks at multiple studies and confirms this fact:

Many enter the industry with a distorted view of what it will be like, and many producers and agents take advantage of this innocence (Hughes, 2000). New performers are thrown right into brutal and traumatic scenes and performances. Even if one initially consents and has signed a contract, if he/she is not allowed to back out, this can be considered trafficking. Additionally, if one ignores a participant’s request to stop and uses force to make one finish a scene or continue working in the industry, then this is sex trafficking. Also, preying on an addiction, either from before one’s entrance into the industry or after, can be classified as psychological coercion according to the William Wilberforce Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act of 2008. According to the Trafficking Victims Protection Act (TVPA), child pornography is always seen as coercive in nature even if it is not for commercial purposes because it is preying on vulnerabilities and the inability to consent to something as an adult. The third prong is fraud, which Hughes (2010) states is “tricking someone into something she didn’t anticipate” (p. 4). Therefore, it can be argued that fraud occurs in most, if not all, instances of pornography (Hughes, 2010).

All of the same things can be said about those young men and women who enter into professional/college sports. The same thing can be said about some of the men and women who enter the military. More and more of those signing up for the military are men and women from economically limiting backgrounds. They are people searching for a way to escape that by any means possible. Even if it means strapping a gun to themselves or having sex for money. If fraud is occuring then the answer is to sniff out the fraud and provide legal redress for this type of behavior. The answer is not to decry the entire industry for the actions of some. Again, go look into the list of non-coercive, consensual porn I gave earlier.

Consider this: In watching pornography, you do not know that a participant is an adult, mature enough to fully consent. Even if you could know this, you have no way of knowing whether that “legal age” is appropriate to the person. (There are 18 year olds, for instance, who are nevertheless not mature enough to fully consent.) Even if you knew a participant was of a legal age and of a level of maturity in which the life of a pornography could be freely chosen, you do not know whether she consented with full knowledge of the consequences, that is, whether she gave informed consent to her working conditions and the sexual acts she is exposed to. Also, given the massive use of drugs and alcohol, you have no way of knowing that a participant had the capacity to consent to a particular pornographic scene. I suppose one could argue that if a porn actor consents to taking drugs and getting high in order to better handle the pain of the pornographic shoot, she implies a consent to the pornographic shoot, but annihilating your ability to feel out of a fear of being fully present for a pornographic scene is not choosing in true, human freedom. And underlying all these objective uncertainties is the knowledge everyone watching pornography must have, that those women displayed in pornography are — in all likelihood — there out of desperation and poverty. To call a grasp at survival “consent” might satisfy the law, but it should not satisfy us.

If all these uncertainties are valid, this means that every time we sit down to watch pornography, we are willfully watching what has every possibility of being rape — a scenario of nonconsensual sex. Perhaps the ex-porn-stars exaggerate. Perhaps there’s not really so many possibilities of a porn video being a display of non-consensual sex. But to this I would ask my readers to imagine the following scenario:

You are walking in alley, when you see in the darkness a tussle of bodies that is probably not rape, rather it is probably real, earnest, sexual passion. Is this probability enough to justify ignoring the possibility that it is rape? Would you be comfortable going to sleep that night, on the basis that you ignored what only might have been rape? Of course not. The mere possibility that a porn video could be a document of rape — coupled with the impossibility for us to discern whether that is the case — should be enough to make us abandon watching all porn, for it is precisely in all porn that the rape-possibility is contained.

And to those who would argue you can “tell” the women involved in pornography are consenting, I would simply point out that the “actress” part of “porn actress” is no misnomer, and that my research into this matter has revealed that, after a while, the majority of female porn actresses are faking the pleasure they display.

All of these concerns could be directly addressed to regular movies, the music industry, sports industry, and the military. You want to talk about non-consenual movie-making and using children? Go look into the lives of child movie stars. There’s your child abuse. You keep going on and on about not being able to be certain of consent, and yet you don’t seem to have the same concern for any of those other industries. I’m in school right now, learning to do a job that I probably won’t enjoy much, but it will pay the bills. Is that economic coercion? I know people who wanted to be doctors or lawyers, but they could never pay for the schooling, so they settled for construction work, driving taxis or delivering pizzas. Is this also coercion? They’re not really consenting to do this job of their own free will. Where is your concern for them? Why is it different if I use my vagina for money rather than my hands?

3. Novelty


Novelty, it’s so dark and twisted

Novelty, it’s so dark and twisted

The idea that we can avoid the darkness of pornography and its underbelly of coercion and dominance by only dabbing our toes in

porn which looks nothing like rape — making sure we aren’t watching anyone near the minimum age and using only porn that doesn’t seem to support an industry that makes it impossible for women to give informed consent — is a stupid idea, for two reasons. First, this certainty cannot be attained. Secondly, the act of watching pornography lends itself to wanting to watch “dark” pornography.

Oh slippery slopes are fun! I like mine to be covered in pudding or jello! Or is that getting too dark? Is that a novelty that could lead to abuse?

Scientists have been happily documenting what’s known as the Coolidge Effect, in which our brain releases dopamine — a chemical that causes pleasure in the brain — in response to a novel sexual scenario.

Yes, when I see a new sexual scenario, it often is better than if I watch the same video over and over again.

Watching the same “safe” pornography will be arousing at first, but as it becomes habit, the brain will respond by producing less and less dopamine until that pornography no longer arouses. What’s needed to get the dopamine hit that the porn-viewer seeks is novelty — something new.

I can get that “something new” by switching from watching a blond and brunette make out to watching a red-head make out with a blond. I can get it by switching from lesbian porn to straight porn, then to group lesbian sex and then to male porn. I don’t have to get into any “kink” in order to achieve novelty.

And as an article in Psychology Today points out, the internet provides us with seemingly endless opportunities for pornographic novelty:

Today’s Internet porn…offers endless fireworks at the click of a mouse. You can hunt (another dopamine-releasing activity) for hours, and experience more novel sex partners every ten minutes than your hunter-gatherer ancestors experienced in a lifetime. Dopamine hit after dopamine hit can induce a drug-like altered state. (Cocaine, for example, owes its high to excess dopamine circulating in the brain.) It’s powerful enough to override your brain’s normal sexual satiation mechanisms after orgasm.

This can lead to

…increased restlessness, irritability and dissatisfaction, desire for kinkier sex, finding your mate less attractive or compelling than the Internet, or a need [for] more extreme material. Experts call such effects “tolerance.” They can indicate an addiction process at work in the brain.

Something having the capacity to be addicting does not make it morally wrong. Shopping has the capacity to be addicting. Caffeine is addicting. Eating chocolate is addicting. This does not mean that shopping, drinking coffee or eating chocolate ice cream are all immoral activities.

Because of the Coolidge Effect, watching “safe” porn lends itself to a need for more “extreme” material. More extreme material is usually more violent, more dominating, more painful for women, and more degrading. In short, it is far more likely to be an incident of rape.

As I said before, one does not have to go down any “dark” avenues in order to find novel porn. With that being said, you seem to have a real problem getting that some women like kink. Some women like the fantasy of dominance, shame and violence. Go check out Greta Christina‘s erotica. There is a difference between fantasy and reality. Those in the kink community are some of the biggest proponents of vocal, enthusiastic consent and safe sex. Your assumption that because somebody is into kink, or because the scene deals with kink, that it is somehow automatically, or more likely, to be rape is simply ignorant.

Men manufacture an artificial desire for porn that from the outset seeks [to?] arouse its viewers by injuring, humiliating, degrading and even endangering the life of women, not because they began by wanting to see women humiliated and hurt, but because they developed an addiction that urges them on to ‘extreme pornography.’

Not all things that can be addicting are immoral. Not all slippery slopes lead to the same place. Not all ends to slippery slopes are necessarily undesirable. This is sounding dangerously close to the “violent video games create violent children/teenagers” argument.

“ A testimony from the website Your Brain on Porn shows what I’m talking about:

The relationship I have with every woman in my life (even just friendly coworkers) has improved since getting off porn. Porn corrupts and brainwashes what you think about women. It got to the point to where I would search for rape scenes because regular porn wasn’t enough anymore, and I would daydream about rape/torture all day long. Obviously I would never do something like that to another human being, it was just a fantasy. But I finally realized how disgusting that lifestyle is, and as much as I may have fooled myself into believing I enjoyed it, it won’t be something I’m returning to.

I look at women like human beings now, as opposed to sex toys, and they respond positively.

Whether or not watching porn will cause a man (or anyone) to view women in real life as mere sexual objects is entirely dependent on the person. Much the same as whether or not playing violent video games will cause a person to be violent is dependent on the person.

The support of pornography is a support of extreme pornography. To watch “light” porn is to open yourself up to the possibility of an addiction that will needle you into delighting over the humiliation and torture of women. To watch “light” porn is to give money to the pornographers who are in no way limited to making “light” porn. To watch “light” porn is to contribute to a society in which people are initiated and invited into watching extreme porn, for by paying for any and all porn you a) allow those who look up to you to consider watching porn excusable, b) contribute to the overall desensitization of your society, in which a child may be initiated into the world of hardcore porn because we passively use soft-core porn as advertisement in his presence c) help to create a demand and a market for pornography which has pornographers supplying, marketing, advertising and promoting pornography, thereby increasing the likelihood of an individual’s initiation into watching pornography, which includes a possibility of his eventually becoming hooked on extreme pornography.

You have given no valid reasons why we should oppose light porn, let alone “dark” porn. You have given no valid data to support your continued assertions that porn is rape, or that porn fuels rape. Pornography and rape are not linked to each other. No respectable psychological organization links the two. In fact, here’s a study that spanned two decades across four different countries that showed no causal link between sexual crimes and the abundance or use of pornography (“dark” or otherwise).

In conclusion, even if we drastically limit our ethical responsibility to a mere “don’t support rape,” we should — guided by reason — still come to the conclusion that watching pornography is objectionable.

You have given us no data to support your assertions that porn is rape or that porn leads to rape. All you’ve demonstrated is that people like new things. So no, this doesn’t seem to be guided by reason.

This is an inditement [sic], of course, of super-hip sexual health organizations that support a pornographic culture. Planned Parenthood, in their guide for discussing pornography with kids, are only concerned with “unrealism” in pornography, ultimately arguing that watching porn can be a benign, harmless and healthy issue, saying that ‘any healthy, caring adults use pornography. Most of them use it to enhance their sex lives knowing that it is much more about fantasy than it is about reality.’

Well, thanks for showing me this. Now I can support Planned Parenthood even more.

But given the above, I would argue that now is the time for the religious and the irreligious alike to stop watching pornography. By refusing to be a slave to pornographers and a market for the sale, humiliation, and degradation of women, we starve those who make their living by exploiting the weak. By repenting of our involvement in the pornography industry, and doing penance to amend the harm pornography has wrecked on our culture, we can be free.

You have given me no valid reason to stop watching porn. You have ignored the many, many sex-positive organizations that seek to end some of the valid criticisms against the main stream porn industry. All your article does is seek to further stigmatize sex workers–stigmatization which makes it even more difficult for them to fight for their rights and have their valid concerns actually addressed. Admonishing people to stop watching porn is not going to get them to stop watching it. It will merely get them to stick their head in the sand about it. Treating the watching of porn as the equivalent to supporting rape trivializes actual rape and makes it harder for those who are trying to actually fix the problems in the industry.

As for all of your anecdotes from ex-porn stars and those who were allegedly hurt because of porn, please read what Dr. Marty Klein has to say about the issue:

I also find it more than a little disingenuous that you would try to use feminism here when you have spent more than a few words on how terrible feminism is. Your crusade against birth control using the OneFlesh site, your trivializing of the concerns of Catholic women in regards to how even women of your own faith are treated by your church, and your crusade against a woman’s right to choose what happens to her body is a testament to the fact that you are simply using “feminism” when you think it helps your cause and abandoning it’s precept (that women are people and should be treated as such) when it hurts your cause. Secular View has a policy of attacking ideas, not people, but I felt it was necessary to call you out for your apparent sudden support of feminism here, when you have vehemently opposed it in the past.

Caitlin commented directly on the blog. I’m including it here because I thought it was so awesome:

You know, you’re absolutely right. We can never be sure, so we should never partake in pornography. For that matter, we can never be sure that our own sexual partner is truly consenting. Maybe they’re lying about their age, or are strung out on drugs or alcohol. Maybe they’re having a psychotic episode and are unable to make an informed decision due to their delusions. We should all stop having sex right now!

And don’t get me started on the dark stuff. Women getting beaten with crops or forced to eat from the floor by men (or even other women!), it’s horrifying! No one would ever consent to such acts. We need to gather together, go down to our local dungeons, and survey all the participants to see if they’re actually consenting. While there, we should stick around to, ahem, observe the situation, for feminism’s sake of course. Maybe do a little research into this so we can better fight it. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it.

Won’t someone think of the children, who aren’t legally allowed to participate in or view pornography? I mean, why can’t we set up some government organization to protect them from this stuff? We can call it the Policies Against Rape and Exploitation Now for Today’s Students! PARENTS will look after the kids!

By never knowing, the only way we can fight it is to abolish it. Don’t bother with trying to improve conditions, that’ll never work, and even if it did, we couldn’t prove it. It’s not like there’s some industry or organization out there trying to improve things and fight for sex worker’s rights. We’re doomed to a world where we must restrain our libidos forever, lest we contribute to the problem!

I for one will join you in this fight! I’m off to do research!