I’d like to dedicate this post to Bill Clinton. No, seriously. I know a lot of people give him a hard time because he lied about getting a blowjob, but if I was asked intimate details of my sex life in the national spotlight, I’m pretty sure I would lie too. Or tell them to fuck off. Besides, it was nobody’s fucking business besides his, Monica’s and Hillary’s. For all we know, everyone involved was perfectly fine until the shit hit the fan. I have no problem with my fiancé getting a blowjob from another woman if he’s upfront about it, and he has no problem with me eating my FWB‘s pussy. Our relationship is about much more than sex and we trust each other. Thankfully, we’re not politicians.
For all the fat jokes and slut-shaming the media made at Monica’s expense, I think the “Lewinsky Scandal” was ultimately a good thing. If nothing else because it brought the topic of oral sex into the public mainstream. It made us talk about oral sex, it made us talk about marital fidelity, and it made us question whether oral sex was “real” sex. (The answer? It is.) I was 12-years-old at the time and it lead to a discussion between my mom and I about oral sex. I honestly think if it weren’t for Clinton getting a hummer, we wouldn’t be talking about BJs and Rug Munching so casually as we do now.
That being said, I’d like to bring us back to the topic at hand. Or at mouth, as the case may be. I love oral sex. I’m not one to brag, but I’m told I’m amazing at sucking dick and eating pussy. At the moment I have one less orifice than most women, so I make the most out of the two I have. This means oral, anal, and manual sex are my means of getting me and my partners off. I’m pretty anxious to have my surgery, primarily so I can have a clitoris, be comfortable naked, and get my legal paperwork in order. But I’m happy with my life and I use whatever body parts I am comfortable with without shame. That being said, I know many people think the sex I enjoy with my partners isn’t “real” because none of it involves a penis penetrating a vagina.
I feel sad for these people, because they must have a very boring and repetitive sex life. Let’s face it, you don’t always have time in your busy life for epic-romantic-candles-and-silk-sheets-penetrative-sex. For one, it can take a lot of foreplay and prep work for penetrative sex to be enjoyable for both parties, and that takes time we don’t always have. For another, while it can be amazing it can also be physically exhausting, and sometimes painful, especially when you’re the one being penetrated. So when you don’t have the time or ability to have penetrative sex, oral sex can be just as good if not better. I’m not always physically capable of having anal sex, but I’m always willing to give my fiancé a blow job. Sometimes it’s foreplay, sometimes it’s the main event, and sometimes I just surprise him with one while he’s relaxing. And while giving a BJ doesn’t give me an orgasm, I still find it incredibly sexy to know how much pleasure I have the power to give him. I love to feel him twitch and grow in my mouth as the rest of his body relaxes. He loves to stare at my ass while I’m bent over his crotch, slapping my cheeks while I bring him to climax. Yes, I may not have an orgasm but I have a lot of fun giving him one. There seems to be a myth out there that all women hate giving blow jobs and we only do it for manipulative purposes or for special occasions or extravagant gifts. I resent being lumped into that category by society. While I’m sure those women exist, I’m not one of them and I know I’m not alone.
Speaking of societal myths, I really resent the “pussy smells like fish” trope. Honestly, if the pussy you’re about to enjoy smells like tuna, then there is a hygiene problem that needs to be addressed. This myth is so pervasive that plenty of women are too self-conscious about their body to ever relax and enjoy receiving oral sex. Considering that most women can’t get an orgasm from PIV sex alone, this is an absolute shame. So can we just put an end to this nonsense? I personally love the way pussy smells and it doesn’t matter if my FWB has just gotten out of the shower or been sweating in the sun all day. I love to grab her hips as she grinds her crotch into my face, I love to hear her moan as I work my tongue over her clit, I love burying my face inside her like it’s my last meal, and I love kissing her after so she can get a taste. Eating pussy is just fucking awesome! It’s the first sex act I ever performed at the age of 17 and it’s still one of my favorites. I know there are people out there who don’t like it, and I guess that makes sense if you’re a gay man or a straight woman, but for everyone else I can’t even begin to understand why it doesn’t get them all kinds of hot and bothered like it does me. Everyone’s allowed to have their own personal preferences and all that, but just writing about eating pussy is putting me in the mood.
I love sex. It makes me feel close to my partners, it makes me feel attractive and powerful, and it releases all kinds of lovely hormones and chemicals that our brain just can’t get enough of. And that holds true for all kinds of sex, including oral. Oral sex is real sex and it is real amazing sex at that. So let the record show that I am a cocksucker and a rug muncher and I am unashamed!