My Response to Tuthmosis’ List of Slut Tells
Dirty Nerdy’s Abridged List of Creeper Tells
1. He’s unnecessarily leering at every girl with tattoos. This is especially the case if they’re visible, multiple, large, and elaborate. If they have sexual themes, he’ll probably explode right there.
2. He’s unnecessarily leering at piercings outside of the traditional earlobe placement. Creepiness increases as he stares at each piercing in turn–simultaneously judging you and trying to determine your fuckability in his mind. See, cuz if a girl has lots of sex, she’s a slut, but if she doesn’t have sex with him, she’s a bitch.
3. Has “creep face.” You either recognize it or you don’t.
[Actually, when a woman encounters a strange man for the first time, it’s usually not possible to tell whether or not he’s a creep by what he looks like…unless he has a neck beard and wears a fedora]
4. Seems to get off on cussing at women a lot, but will judge her to be a slut if she returns the favor. Especially if he yells the words “fuck”, “pussy,” or “cock” at random women on the street.
5. Insists on playing the tickle game with grown women who are obviously not interested, then exclaims that she just must be “Not ticklish”. The Creeper will often try to explain that only sluts “aren’t ticklish” because he doesn’t understand what tickling and being ticklish actually entails.
6. Broaches the topic of illegal drugs (even marijuana) without prompting. The more illegal, the creepier.
7. Leers at women with big tits. He will probably not understand the biology of breasts and will make stupid assumptions such as “They probably came in early” and “big tits equals slut!”
8. Assumes that women show excessive skin in order to get attention from males. Will often try to claim that it’s just not hot enough to justify showing a mid-riff or wearing short-shorts, even though it’s none of his fucking business why a woman chooses to wear any particular article of clothing.
9. Doesn’t understand even the basics of the biology behind sex and gender, and yet tries to lecture women on it.
Will only recognize the existence of two gendered hormones: Testosterone and Estrogen. He will not be able to demonstrate even a basic understanding of what these hormones actually do though.
10. Associates with confirmed creepers. His friends are often one of your best weathervanes. Birds of a feather, as they say.
11. Shows an inordinate amount of interest in bi-sexual girls. Bi-sexuality has quickly become a stand-in for hyper-sexuality by idiots who don’t understand what it means. If he finds out a girl is bi, he will probably grill her about her sexual exploits. If she doesn’t tell him anything (cuz it’s none of his fucking business) then she’s a prude and she’s lying about being bisexual. If she does choose to tell him about her past sexual experience, then he will declare she’s a slut…oh and she’s still lying about her sexuality. He will probably propose a three-some/group sex with any and all bisexual girls he meets.
12. Is currently, or was at some point, in a fraternity*. Fraternities are little more than creeper factories on college campuses.
13. Has traveled alone to what he deems as “fuck-fest” locations (e.g., Jamaica) in order to try to “score” sex with some college-aged women*. This is often a tell-tale sign of a rape-on-vacation-doesn’t-count case, where he will try to coerce women to have sex. And if he fails, he’ll get on the internet to whine about all the stupid bitches who won’t sleep with him.
14. Was a football player in high school*. Football players have access to, and exploit, the most desirable and privileged station at most schools. See “Stuebenville”
15. Went, or goes, to a known party college (e.g., Arizona State, USC, UC Santa Barbara)*. Men are copycats, and when all of his friends “are doing it” (whatever “it” is), they do too. (See No. 10.)
16. Preys on women who were victimized at a young age (15 and down). He will refuse to acknowledge that teenaged girls cannot consent to adult men. So he will insist that she wasn’t raped she just “lost her virginity” and then regretted it later.
17. Likes getting women, or preying on women who have made the choice, to drink tequila shots or take drugs (e.g. roofies). These are the drugs of choice for the creepers.
18. Is “friends” with DJs, promoters, or other small-time pseudo-celebs. He’s hoping to hook up with the women who are actually friends with these people, because he mistakenly believes that they won’t be able to tell he’s a creeper.
19. Is an artist, or a wannabe “photographer” who has done “photo shoots.”* Some men in the arts tend to have a loose attitude toward consent, especially if their “art” involves “allowing women to express themselves with their bodies” (read: but never men, he doesn’t photograph them).
20. Disrespects small boundaries before the topic of sex is ever broached. This may seem like a no-brainer, but they often do so in subtle ways that can seem plausibly deniable. They never are.
21. Focuses on women whom he believes have “Daddy issues”. This is a classic predictor of a creep who is going to try really hard to make “negging” work.
22. Isn’t able to stand talking to feminists or any women who are able to stand up for themselves. He’ll claim he wants a strong woman (likely because he thinks they “fuck with impunity”), but the moment she contradicts him he’ll start whining and crying that she’s “such a bitch.”
23. Seems to think that any amount of female nudity or semi-nudity must be sexual. Therefore any woman who spends any amount of time being comfortable while nude must be “fair game.”He will make creepy remarks about some women having “perfect” or “even” tans.
24. Judges women for “sluttiness” but at the same time admits to trying to have sex with women on the first date, even if they have stated point blank that they do not want to have sex with him. Is not willing to date any woman who is a prude or a bitch (read: doesn’t have sex with him right away), but is unwilling to then marry “the town bike”. Then he goes on the internet and whines about how he can’t find a nice girl to settle down with.
These cues should be on every woman’s “Creep Radar”.
***I do not believe that every man who played football, joined a fraternity, went to a party school, is a photographer, talks about illegal drugs, or is friends with “pseudo-celebrities” is automatically a creeper. Likewise, I do not believe all men engage in these behaviors. I merely mirrored Tuthmosis’ stupid generalizations in order to show how stupid they are. All others I turned around to show how the behavior of the man who does this is creepy, and what it says about his attitudes toward women, consent and sex.***